Post-Trip Depression


How does it feel to return to the real world after having taken a year out to travel, having executed on a life’s dream? Well, in a word, it sucks. There I’ve said it. I don’t expect your sympathy or even empathy. I’m writing this post today to round out the how-to series on our family world trip that I started just after we got back. It wouldn’t be right to leave you thinking that we all arrived home and life went back to normal without a hiccup.

We have done surprisingly well. Our kids re-entered the regular school system pretty painlessly. Murph and I are now gainfully employed again. We’ve had a variety of house disasters but those could have happened any time.

But. Even before we got back to Seattle I was worried about impending post-trip depression. Worried enough to strategize about how to manage it way back in July (I’m nothing if not a planner). After a healthy dose of self-analysis, usually over many glasses of wine, I’m happy to say that my post-trip stay happy goals are very similar to what they were before we left: exercise regularly, drink moderately, take time to stop and smell the roses now and then.

I heard stories of typical post-travel depression triggers from other travel-junkie friends: reverse culture shock; lack of comprehension of the enormity of your trip or the breath of experiences had thereon; lack of understanding of how seeing the world North and South, East and West had changed you forever. I thought about these triggers for maybe a minute before quickly realizing that they’re all like your first pregnancy. When it’s happening, it’s the most important thing to ever, ever happen to you. Your life will never be the same again. As the nine months progress, or maybe when it’s all over, you realize that no-one else really cares – at least not the same way you do. They’re happy for you and all, but they’re not obsessing about everything like you are.

Extended travel is like a pregnancy. Your friends will cheer for you when you announce your trip, follow your progress in a mildly interested fashion and congratulate you when you’re done, but mostly, they’re just living their own lives with their own priorities and that’s OK. Don’t let it upset you when you get home, your travel experiences will be yours to savor and treasure forever.

Which brings me back to my one day of real post-trip depression. I had all the classic symptoms: I was lethargic, I couldn’t concentrate, I was irritable and agitated. Why and when did this happen? It was my first day back at work after the winter holidays. The deadening responsibility of having to go to work every day from now until for-e-ver was like my own personal pathetic fallacy with the typical rainy winter day outside my window. It took a good night’s sleep and a re-evaluation of those stay-happy goals to help me reset myself.

So, my two snippets of advice to anyone fearing the re-entry after extended travel:
1. When you’re still on a floaty cloud of trip happiness, take a moment to think about what will help you keep that feeling when you’re back into humdrum daily life. Write down your ideas and goals and put them somewhere safe.
2. Remember that no-one else cares about your trip as much as you do. That’s just life. It’s your story, no-one else’s. This is a good thing, you get to play all the juicy parts, make it Oscar-worthy :)

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About wandermom

". . .life is short and the world is wide" - Simon Raven I'm not sure I've ever consciously planned a trip based on this sentiment, but it definitely influences my subconscious! I've been traveling as frequently and widely as possible since I finished school. And I love it. I love the research, the planning, the fervent packing and the curiosity of exploring somewhere I've never been before. My husband & I are both Irish - as in born-in-Ireland. But we live in Seattle. We have two boys: wild, boisterous, regular boys. So, since becoming a Mom, I've been a WanderMom. Given our slightly-unusual family situation, routine "visits-to-Grandma" are international trips requiring passports, 10hr-flights and (oh joy!) airport transfers. I have rants, raves and opinions about how, where & why to travel with kids (start them as young as you can, I say!). I hope to learn even more by researching topics which other wandermoms may be interested in reading about on this blog. Passports, pacifiers, diapers and gameboys at the ready - off we go! Contact Info: Email Michelle: michelle (at) murphnduff (dot) org

7 thoughts on “Post-Trip Depression

  1. Theodora

    I love the pregnancy analogy too. And glad you’re out and about doing stuff (and travelling) again. I think the whole family togetherness thing is very, very hard to let go of (she says, being nomadic) — but I’m pleased you’re beginning to get through the downs…

  2. Becki

    Fab post, definitely summarises it perfectly for me. The whole ‘nobody really cares about this amazing thing we’ve done!!’ was a real downer- I had done something incredible, I was expecting fanfares, recognition, enthusiasm! No, no… glazed-over eyes and blank expressions…

    Pregnancy analogy is perfect!

  3. Diya

    I am so happy Theodora sent me this link! Our family is “re-entering” in a month after our RTW journey and I am starting to panic… I love this perspective and advice. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Jess with2kidsintow

    I just came across this–like the others said, i too LOVE the pregnancy analogy. oh-so-true! we were away for a year (not my first long trip, but the first with the kids) and although we (the adults) are not thrilled about returning to ‘the grind’, the kids’ happiness at being home and among peers and pursuing their interests and activities helps to remind us that we are doing the right thing (for now).

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