Today’s post is guest-written by my very witty husband, Murph (aka WanderDad) on a traumatic if efficient barbershop experience here in Kizkalesi, Turkey.
One of the simple necessities of life that becomes fraught with peril on the road is haircuts.
When you don’t share a language, you rely on grunts, gestures and animated hand signals, but it’s not until after the fact that you know whether your intent was correctly conveyed as “short back and sides” or as “take everything off the left side and don’t spare the bloodletting – in fact, why should anyone have two ears? surely one is more than necessary”.
Additionally, a simple haircut comes with added, unrequested depilation. About the same time as my grey/original color (whatever it was) ratio exceeded 55/45, barbers all over the world have simply attacked my ears with gusto without any consultation, so that I no longer appear to have broccoli florets hanging out of my ears. This is undeniably good.
Also good is the unrequested harvesting of any extraneous hair on the plains running up my cheeks to my eyes, and of course, a little eyebrow cropping never did anyone any harm.
What did take me aback tonight was the application of a hair tugging unit to my nose. I’m used to scissors, straight razors and various vibrating trimmers in my pursuit of a good haircut, and I would be the first to admit that there may be one or two wiry sprouts on my aquiline nose that require attention, but this thing was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It seemed to clasp and tug out by the root every little hair on my nose. The fact that it was all unsolicited added to the overall pain and humiliation.
Nonetheless, a masterful haircut, plus my nose is now smooth as a baby’s bottom, both inside and outside (I forgot to mention the penetrative nose rape). I may even have to start powdering my nose.
4 stars, would definitely buy again.